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Episode Directory

March 2012

February 2012

January 2012

  • 1/27/2012: Step by Step: Paths to Successful StepFamily Life; Avoiding the Pitfalls, Recovery when it gets Hard Listen Now
  • 1/20/2012: Deceived: Recovering after Infidelity: Healing the Marriage, or Beginning the Process for a Healthy StepFamily Listen Now
  • 1/13/2012: Parenting, Co-Parenting, Step-Parenting: Different Skills and Increasing Challenge Listen Now
  • 1/6/2012: How to Bully Proof Your StepFamily Listen Now

December 2011

Paula Bisacre

Paula Bisacre Publisher, www.RemarriageWorks.com President, Remarriage LLC Founder, Remarriage Showcase for Encore BridesTM Paula Bisacre is the founder of Remarriage LLC, a multimedia company that provides information, community, and products that enhance the experience of remarriage and stepfamily living. She is the publisher and executive editor of RemarriageWorks.com, a website that provides practical solutions for the ever-growing remarriage community. A native of Harford County, Maryland, Paula attended the University of Maryland and graduated with a BA in Russian Area Studies. For the 16 years that followed, she worked for the Department of Defense as a Russian linguist and analyst in the intelligence community. In the private sector, Paula was an associate/consultant for Booz Allen Hamilton for two years and a senior analyst for Athena Innovative Solutions from 2005 to 2006. In 2006, Paula’s youngest son, Trevor, was diagnosed with Type I diabetes. Faced with the demands of his condition, Paula opted to change careers, enacting a business plan she conceived when she was planning her second wedding. Paula Bisacre’s mission is to have a positive impact on stepfamilies and remarried adults by providing solutions that increase happiness and success. Through Remarriage LLC’s online offering, www.RemarriageWorks.com, Paula provides practical solutions and resources for the remarriage and stepfamily community. Her business venture, along with her personal experience of meeting the challenges that come with blending a stepfamily of seven, has put Paula at the forefront of the national stepfamily conversation. As a trusted expert and advocate, Paula frequently speaks, writes, and consults about stepfamily issues and was the creator of the monthly remarriage column for The Washington Times and the Remarriage Showcase for Encore Brides, the premier showcase for the remarrying bride. She authored Journal for Stepmoms in 2010 and has been seen in CNBC.com, TheStreet.com, WomansDay.com, msnMoney.com, The Washington Post, and the Canadian television show, Family Matters. Paula serves on the United States of America Blended Family Association’s Formation Committee and is on the National Stepfamily Day Foundation’s board of directors. She is also actively involved in the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation where she has served on the board of directors for the Maryland chapter.: View Guest page

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Claudia Black

Claudia Black, MSW, PhD. is a renowned addiction author, speaker and trainer internationally recognized for her pioneering and contemporary work with family systems and addictive disorders. Since the 1970's Claudia's work has encompassed the impact of addiction on young and adult children. She offers models of intervention and treatment related to family violence, multi-addictions, relapse, anger, depression and women's issues. Her writings and teachings have become a standard in the field of addictions. Claudia is the author of all the books and audio CDs available here as well as the educational videos and Strategies Series for professionals to use with addicted clients and families affected by addiction. Claudia publishes and distributes all her materials through her own company Mac Publishing located in Washington State. Claudia designs and presents training workshops and seminars to professional audiences in the field of family service, mental health, addiction and correctional services as well as speaking in public forums about addiction and recovery. She speaks to thousands of people every year. She is probably best known for It Will Never Happen to Me which offers a foundation for understanding what occurred growing up in an addictive family. The sequel, Changing Course, provides a framework for understanding what happened and why one is who they are today, and hope for the future. The books and Dr. Black’s work offers a path wherein people live with choices versus living a family script. Today, more than ever, women are being challenged by the addictive nature of their partner's sexual behavior. Deceived teaches women how to protectively emerge from emotional isolation, shed secrets and shame, and discover the power to incite positive change in their relationship. More about Claudia Black’s many books and workshops can be found at www.claudiablack.com. View Guest page

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Teresa Graham Brett

Teresa Graham Brett combines her passion for social change through social justice education with parenting. As a professional, she has spent over 20 years committed to advancing social change and social justice in universities, as an educator, leader, administrator, and consultant. After graduating from law school, she went on to serve at three large public universities across the country. She worked with innovative programs designed to create transformative learning for students, staff, and faculty. As a consultant, she continues to bring her expertise and passion to clients interested in transformative learning and social change. Her own life was transformed after the births of Martel and Greyson, who have challenged her to live the values of liberation, freedom, and respect as a parent. She combines her professional experience in facilitating social justice learning with her personal journey in her writing, both on her website and in her book, Parenting for Social Change. She lives in the Sonoran Desert with her partner Rob and the children who share her life, Martel and Greyson. View Guest page

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Wendy Conquest

Wendy Conquest is a Licensed Professional Counselor who practices in Colorado. She works with couples who are having challenges in their marriages, are divorcing, and couples re-establishing new relationships. If the couple has experienced infidelity, Ms. Conquest uses a task based approach developed by Dr. Patrick Carnes and her own integrated attachment model. For spouses or partners of sex addicts she focuses on the crisis at hand, dynamics that are contributing to the problem, and skill building. Trauma processing, a key component, is done to support and heal from sexual betrayal. Her work incorporates EMDR, Brainspotting, Integrative Body Psychotherapy, Sandplay, and equine assisted therapy addressing all possible contributors to a person's dilemna. Wendy presently teaches co-parenting classes and works with parents, step-parents, teens and children to develop healthier, more positive family systems and communication skills in the kinship ties that extend in so many directions when the original family unravels and new bonds are formed. Her personal experiences as well as professional skills and knowledge bring a uniquely compassionate perspective in developing healthier and more successful stepfamilies. View Guest page

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Tania Henderson

Tania Henderson is a Nationally Certified Counselor (NCC), a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) in the State of Colorado, and an EMDR certified provider. She received training in early Christian Thought and Mahayana Buddhism at the Iliff School of Theology, and graduated with honors from the Regis University Master’s level counseling program. During her career, Tania Henderson dealt with the immediate impacts of bullying both in her work with children in residential treatment and supervising foster homes. Since establishing Side by Side Counseling in 2002, Tania has focused on individual adults, helping them overcome challenges resulting from trauma and anxiety. In this venue, she has witnessed the long term impacts of childhood bullying. Tania’s work has included helping individuals shed these painful effects so they are less fearful and more able to trust. She has also helped people address the adult forms of bullying that can happen with coworkers, peers, and family members, offering them skillful tools and strategies. Because this is such a universal issue, Tania makes presentations throughout the community to help train parents and professionals learn how to promote informed and resilient children. View Guest page

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Kathy Higgins

Kathy Higgins, M.A., CACII, is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Addictions Counselor in Colorado who provides individualized counseling focusing on developing effective coping strategies, developing effective problem solving skills, parenting, communication, distress tolerance, and interpersonal effectiveness. She has worked effectively with couples and individuals using DBT (Dialectic Behavior Therapy), EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing), and Gottman Couples Therapy all of which have a proven benefit for people facing renewing their marriages or facing divorce and stepfamily formation. Helping clients develop the ability to engage in effective communication and strengthen their ability to self soothe in intensely emotional situations without damaging self-esteem while maintaining important relationships has been a large part of her work. Kathy offers tools to increase Mindful Awareness, Non-Judgment, and Self-Mastery that creates new pathways to healing, growth and acceptance. View Guest page

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Robyn McDonald

Insightful, empathetic, and energetic, Robyn McDonald combines 24 years of legal, judicial, and mediation experience in offering a proactive focus to alternative dispute resolution. Robyn’s ability to grasp complex issues, her forward looking approach to client conflict, and her instinctual ability to get to the heart of the matter creates an atmosphere that encourages safe, honest and positive communication of ideas and emotions amongst the parties. Licensed to practice law in California since 1987, and in Colorado since 2007 (single client limited admission), Ms. McDonald has been consistently recognized by her peers as a top lawyer (Martindale Hubbell AV® Preeminent® Peer Review Rated Attorney since 1992), Women Lawyers (Martindale Hubbell AV® Preeminent® Bar Register of Preeiminent Women Lawyers, 2011) and as a top mediator by her clients (Martindale Hubbell Preeminent® Client Review Rated Attorney/Mediator since 2009*). She has written a variety of mediation articles involving Fly Fishing and the Art of Mediation, Gender Balanced Co-Mediation, and Cultural Diversity and Mediation, and has coached a multitude of developing mediators on behalf of the Colorado Bar Association. She is a frequent blogger with Oval Options, a group dedicated to conflict management, and a local columnist for the LittletonGazette, offering insight to conflict resolution and informal comments to those seeking help with disputes. A former Los Angeles County Court Judge Pro Tempore, former national in-house counsel to a major Japanese insurance company, defense civil litigator, and appellate attorney, Robyn provides a unique understanding of both plaintiff and defense goals while working successfully with mediation clients in Colorado and the Rocky Mountain Region; she offers mediation services in the areas of Business/Commercial, Domestic Relations (pre and post decree), Estate and Probate, Landlord/Tenant and HOA, Medical Malpractice, Personal Injury/Product Liability and Workplace/Employment. She is a member of the Jefferson County Mediation Services Advisory Committee, the Jefferson County Access to Justice Committee, and a member of the Jefferson County Mediation Services Program. She is a Professional Member of the Mediation Association of Colorado (formerly the Colorado Council of Mediators). She was the recipient of the 2008 Jefferson County Volunteer Mediator of the Year, the 2009 Divorce and Parenting Mediator of the Year and the 2010 Permanent Protection Order Mediator of the Year Awards. Robyn has recently been admitted, in open court, to practice before the United States Supreme Court, en banc. View Guest page

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Lara Newton

Lara Newton is a senior Jungian Analyst in private practice in Denver. She has been president of the C.G. Jung Society of Colorado (in Denver) since 1996. She is Director of Training for the C.G. Jung Institute of Colorado. Lara was introduced to Jungian psychology in 1974 while still an undergraduate English student, and she went on to get a masters in English literature before studying at the Jung Institute in Zurich (1980). She then returned to the states, completed a masters degree in psychology and resumed her formal Jungian training with the Inter-Regional Society of Jungian Analysts. She graduated from that program in 1993. Lara's thesis for IRSJA was on the brother-sister relationship - she explored animus development in women who had been deeply affected by their relationships with their brothers. Work on that writing began in the late 1980's, and has basically continued (with several interruptions), culminating in her book titled, Brothers and Sisters: Discovering the Psychology of Companionship. Lara really enjoys analytic work. It is her central passion, closely followed by the scholarly pursuits of reading, writing and teaching. Her most recent studies have focused on Jung’s work with alchemy, the female alchemist known as Maria Prophetissa, and Celtic Mythology. She also loves to travel, and has a special fondness for Ireland and Switzerland, countries that were important in her early adulthood and remain close to her heart. Lara considers that her personal life journey has been just as important as any study, both in the development of this book and in the development of her analytic strengths. Her early life was marked by a strong and sustaining relationship with her brother, and in her adulthood she has had the privilege of observing the development of a quite different, but equally strong, relationship between her son and daughter. View Guest page

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Judy Osborne

Judy Osborne is a marriage and family therapist in Brookline, MA, and Director of Stepfamily Associates, an organization she founded in 1981. She consults with individuals, couples and families about the issues of living in stepfamilies and has seen, first hand, the evolution of many post-marriage relationships. Judy grew up in a small town in Connecticut. Her early years were formed with the expectation of lifelong connections in family and community. Cultural changes of the mid 20th century and her own story and solid foundation as a family therapist allow her to take a very long view of family change. Her latest book Wisdom for Separated Parents is a hallmark in the knowledge available about the long term consequences of separation and divorce on families. Parents of one million children separate each year. Under the radar of media attention, there is a secret life for these separated parents. A post-separation relationship is no longer an oxymoron. Their connection continues and can be cordial. Kinship around children keeps separated parents tied in complex, silly and serious ways forever. Divorce does not have to be un-happily ever after, and all members of the kinship circle which continues to be dynamic years after the separation can grow and thrive. View Guest page

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Janet Seahorn

Janet Seahorn has been a teacher, administrator, and consultant for thirty years. She currently teaches several classes on neuroscience and literacy as an adjunct professor for Regis University in Denver and Colorado State University in Fort Collins, CO. Jan has a Ph.D in Human Development and Organizational Systems. Her background includes an in-depth understanding of human development and neuroscience research as well as effective practices in organizational systems and change. She conducts numerous workshops on the neuroscience of learning and memory, the effects of “at-risk” environments (i.e., poverty) and brain development, and researched-based instructional practices. Jan has worked with many organizations in the business and educational communities in creating and sustaining healthy, dynamic environments. View Guest page

Episode Listing:

Tony Seahorn

Following his tour of duty in Vietnam and subsequent physical therapy and recovery from combat wounds, Tony was informed by the Army that permanent nerve damage to his arm and shoulder would not allow him to pursue his dreams as a career aviator. After discharge from the service, Tony made a career in management with AT&T where he was able to complete his college education and went on to get an MBA. Recently retired; he and his wife Janet started their own Education Consulting, Team Building and Outdoor Adventure business. Their travels allow them to pursue both domestic and global interests. Following encouragement from family & friends, his most honored medals from combat are now displayed in a shadow box in their home. Some of which include two (2) Bronze Stars for heroism, two (2) Purple Hearts, Air Medal for valor in flight, Vietnamese Gallantry Cross, and Presidential Unit Citation. When not traveling and writing, Tony spends much of his time training two overly enthusiastic black lab retrievers, Chase & Hunter Bailey. They love to bird hunt, fly fish, and help guide the raft down-river. View Guest page

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Deceived: Recovering after Infidelity: Healing the Marriage, or Beginning the Process for a Healthy StepFamily

January 20, 2012
Hosted by Eleanor Alden, LCSW, BCD

[Download MP3] [itunes] [Bookmark Episode]

Claudia Black, PhD, will be joining StepWisdom on Friday January 20th to discuss her ground breaking work in her book, Deceived. Divorces often follow infidelity and the foundation for a future stepfamily is then begun when one partner is unfaithful. Recovering from the pain and damage to self-esteem that can occur is tremendously important not only for the partners to move on to other relationships, but for stepfamilies to function at their best. Healthy step-families need parental figures who treat each other with respect or at least old fashioned good manners. However, the emotional upheavals that so often occur after finding out about an affair or infidelity can make it exceedingly difficult to re-establish a respectful communication system. Even years after a divorce, a former spouse’s new relationship can elicit rage and jealousy impeding healthy communication. Claudia’s work is tremendously important whether saving a marriage or developing a successful stepfamily.

StepWisdom

Archives Available on VoiceAmerica Variety Channel

Half of the children in the United States today will have at least one stepparent before they are fifteen. So it is likely that everyone in the western world will either be a stepparent, a stepchild, or be in a family with such relationships. We all know them, live with them, work with them, and the vast majority of them are happy, relational, successful people. History tells us that stepfamilies have been with us always, and that most children throughout history have been raised with stepparents.

This show combines a look at what works well and what doesn’t in the complicated, complex, challenging, and often rewarding world of step-relationships. History and present day research on families often seem to point to the same wisdom showing patterns of family interaction that makes some successful and some disastrous.

Eleanor Alden, LCSW, BCD

Eleanor Spackman Alden, LCSW, BCD is a psychotherapist in private practice who has worked with StepFamilies for over 40 years. She taught psychology at the graduate level at Naropa University for over a decade, teaching classes in family therapy, marriage counseling and Jungian therapy. Prior to that she taught behavioral science to physicians in a Family Medicine Residency program. During this time she became increasingly concerned at the negative perspective that so many people have. The media and professional communities have often emphasized stepfamilies as second best or even worse: a sign of a declining culture. This viewpoint did not fit Eleanor’s knowledge of cultures in history, nor her experience as a therapist, teacher, or friend to so many who came from stepfamilies and are developing them now. StepWisdom grew out of the frustration with the present day mis-informed attitudes and prejudices about stepfamilies, and from growing up as a stepchild herself. As so many become parts of wonderful dynamic and healthy stepfamilies the need to change the cultural attitude is becoming clearer to an increasing number of professionals working with families and the media in general.

The mis-informed shaming and guilt producing attitudes of much of society have made it more difficult than it needs to be to have a successful stepfamily. The attitude and prejudices need to be examined in the light of research and history, and modified for everyone’s benefit.

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