You tell yourself this time will be different. You tell yourself breastfeeding is supposed to be a joyful experience. You want to deny that you've had moments of the opposite, that latching your baby on and experiencing the let-down of your milk makes you feel agitated or like you are in a dark place. Are you crazy? Is this postpartum depression? You’re sure others would think you are just making it up, or that you just aren't thinking about breastfeeding right. The medical journals have almost nothing to validate what you're feeling--but you've been there, you've felt it, you know it's real.
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