When Love Turns to Hate: Managing Divorce While Keeping Kids Out of the Middle

July 23, 2013
Hosted by Lisa Ferentz

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Guest Information

Episode Description

In this show, Dr. Silberg will explain how some people who are domestic abusers can use the children in a form of domestic violence by proxy, hoping to hurt their ex, by physically, sexually, or emotionally by abusing the children. Many domestic violence perpetrators threaten their spouses by using their children as pawns, convincing their partners that will never see their children again if they leave the marriage. As we explore this dynamic, Dr. Silberg will explain how courts sometimes misunderstand the way that battered women present in court. We will process the difference between the normal badmouthing that occurs in any divorce situation and the lethal emotional abuse found in "dv by proxy." The notion of parental alienation will be dissected and explained, and we will talk about "high conflict" divorce and why that is often a misnomer. We will also identify where parents can get help when their children are subjected to this form of trauma.

Inspired Journeys: Overcoming Adversity and Thriving

Archives Available on VoiceAmerica Health and Wellness Channel

Our program will educate and inspire. Lisa will interview authors, clinicians, and everyday people who have experienced or witnessed adversity and all of its life changing consequences. We will explore the impact that sexual abuse, domestic violence, bullying, physical disabilities, panic, depression, self-destructive behaviors and addictions have on individuals, families and our society. At the same time, we will focus on how to overcome and transcend trauma through empathy, self-love, forgiveness, self-awareness and acts of kindness. Lisa will talk with guests who demonstrate the resiliency of the human spirit and have helped others achieve true healing. We will discuss the power of attachment, learning how to be in the moment, how to reclaim a sense of spirituality, hope and optimism. You will learn how to find meaning even in the most difficult traumatic experiences and will come to understand that survivors can thrive, pay it forward, and help others to heal as well.

Lisa Ferentz

Lisa is a Clinical Social Worker, educator, author, actress, wife and mother. She has been in private practice for 30 years, using a wide variety of expressive therapies to treat adolescent and adult survivors of trauma, abuse, and neglect. In 2009 Lisa was given the Social Worker of the Year Award by the Maryland Society for Clinical Social Work. She is the founder and President of the Institute for Advanced Psychotherapy Training and Education, providing continuing education workshops and Certificates in Trauma Treatment to mental health professionals. She has been an Adjunct Faculty member at several Maryland Universities. Lisa published articles on self-mutilation and eating disorders and is the author of the book Treating Self-Destructive Behaviors in Trauma Survivors, A Clinician’s Guide. She recently completed another book entitled, Letting Go of Self Destructive Behaviors, A Workbook of Hope and Healing. A recognized expert in the trauma field, she is a national and international presenter and keynote speaker. She provides ongoing consultation to practitioners and mental health agencies. In her free time, Lisa acts, directs, and choreographs in community theatre productions. Her compassionate approach to therapy, along with her belief that trauma can be transcended and survivors can truly thrive, makes her the perfect candidate to host Inspired Journeys, a program that educates and inspires, while celebrating the strength and resiliency of the human spirit.

Episode Directory

September 2013

August 2013

July 2013

  • 7/30/2013: Internet Affairs Listen Now
  • 7/23/2013: When Love Turns to Hate: Managing Divorce While Keeping Kids Out of the Middle Listen Now
  • 7/16/2013: The Challenges and Rewards of Raising a Special Needs Child Listen Now
  • 7/9/2013: How to Manage a Narcissist Listen Now
  • 7/2/2013: Why We Love People Who Hurt Us: The Human Magnet Syndrome Listen Now


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