Understanding Your Love Style: The Love Paralyzer
October 19, 2016
Hosted by Chelli Pumphrey
Have you ever had the experience of desperately wanting a relationship, only to freeze or pull away every time you get close to someone? Do you have a pattern of sabotaging relationships? Or, maybe you're terrified to even date? If so, tune in to this week's episode of Destination Love. Host Chelli Pumphrey will continue to explore the Love Styles and the concept of attachment, examining how it affects the success or failure of dating and relationships. In this special episode, we'll focus on the Love Paralyzer style, with our special guest, Jeff, -who happens to be one of Chelli's ex-boyfriends-. Trust us, you won't want to miss this show! In this unique show, you'll get to hear Jeff and Chelli get personal as they share how their opposing Love Styles lead to the ultimate demise of their relationship. Jeff will also discuss how he has struggled with being a Love Paralyzer.
Archives Available on VoiceAmerica Variety Channel
The mission of Destination Love is to help people understand why they experience certain feelings, behaviors, and struggles in their relationships through the use of psychology, attachment, and the science of the brain in a fun, intriguing, and engaging format.
I want to empower people to stop relying on fate and fairy tales to find love. Destination Love covers many topics around relationships to help people increase their awareness of self and others, as we explore the science, psychology, and even the more mysterious side of relationships.
Destination Love is not about learning to find love through creating perfect Hollywood looks, a flawless online dating profile, or saying the right words to catch that perfect date. Instead, we empower people with knowledge, to increase people’s courage to be more authentic, and to explore and explain the mysteries of why we do what we do in relationships.
Chelli Pumphrey, MA, LPC, the Love Strategist, is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Relationship Expert. With over twenty years of experience as a psychotherapist, Chelli blends her knowledge of psychology, attachment, and the science of the brain to help people find love. She’s your relationship wing-woman, but with solid advice that actually works! Chelli will help you overcome fear, become more authentic in your relationships, find compatible partners, and put an end to unhealthy relationship patterns.
Chelli is passionate about helping people develop healthy, committed, and fulfilling relationships. She has both a psychotherapy and coaching practice, leads transformative retreats and classes and regularly publishes blogs and articles about helping people find the courage to live and love with authenticity and passion. Chelli will also be a featured relationship coach in Leap, a movie due to be released in 2017, about the transformative power of coaching.
Alison Armstrong, author, educator, and creator of the widely acclaimed "Queen’s Code" workshop series, asks the question: "What if no one is misbehaving -- including you?" She explores the good reasons behind the behavior of men and women such as fundamental differences in the ways we think, act and communicate. She offers simple, partnership-based, solutions to improve our communication and intimacy by honoring ourselves and others. She’s known for her insight, sense of humor and ability to articulate the human experience and predicament of gender. View Guest page
Known as America’s Leading Midlife Dating & Relationship Coach, Jonathon Aslay is a defender and protector of women’s hearts around the world. He helps women transform from attracting Mr. Wrong into finding their Mr. Right.
Jonathon, a successful entrepreneur, coach, speaker, and author of Unlocking the Male Mind, Finding Love Online and Why Men Pull Away: 3 Ways to Keep Him Close.
Jonathon is like A GUY SPY to the male mind who truly understands the way a single or divorced man thinks and acts. He’s a master at helping women recognize and distinguish the difference between men who are emotionally unavailable from those who are truly ready for love. View Guest page
For over 15 years, Ken Bechtel, the creator of the Invisible to Irresistible live training event, has shared his insights and amusement as a speaker, educator and relationship mentor to help women blossom into their fullest expression, get their needs met and be loved for all their unique beauty.
He is also the creator and host of the wildly popular Speaking of Partnership podcast that is heard in over 100 countries around the world. Join Ken to learn from the world's leading relationship experts their personal stories of partnership success and failure.
You can learn more about Ken at www.speakingofpartnership.com. View Guest page
Willow Bradner is an Accidental Psychic. She is a Reiki Master, psychic medium, good time funhaver, mom, wife and change maker.
Willow has dedicated her life to teaching others about their innate intuitive abilities and helping people to rediscover their true spirits.
Her motto is: "It is in the truth of who we are that we become the real leaders of our lives." View Guest page
Dr. Valeria Chuba
Dr. Valeria Chuba is a board certified clinical sexologist and a certified sex expert and coach. Through personal coaching and online programs, she helps women, men and couples reclaim pleasure, connection and fulfillment in their sexual relationships. Her approach is sex-positive, inclusive, and focused on empowerment and confidence-building. In addition to coaching and teaching, Dr. Valeria is also the Official Guide to Sexuality for SelfGrowth.com and the host of the popular Get Sex-Smart podcast, available on iTunes, Stitcher and iHeartRadio. View Guest page
Christian de la Huerta
Christian de la Huerta has been a writer, speaker, retreat and group facilitator for over 20 years. Author of the award-winning and critically-acclaimed “Coming out Spiritually,” he is currently working on a new book “Soulful Power.”
Christian is creator and teacher of several self-development programs focusing on awareness, advanced spiritual practices and growth, understanding sex and relationships, mechanisms of ego and projection, life purpose, and reclaiming personal spiritual power. His teaching is innately connected to the essence of world spiritual traditions.
An acclaimed speaker at spiritual communities and universities nationwide, Christian also practices as a leadership development consultant in the corporate world.
More about his work may be found at www.SoulfulPower.com. View Guest page
Catherine Dietz is the owner and operator of A Healthy Path to Love and an expert in coaching women who are questioning their romantic relationship. She offers a step-by-step process that provides a clear solution to the predicament of ‘should I stay or should I go?’, and empowers women to move forward in their lives by either reconnecting with their partner in a way that works, or gracefully letting go of the relationship with integrity, honesty and respect.
As a certified Heal Your Life® Coach and a former Cardiovascular Technologist, she also shares her extensive knowledge on the emotions and physiology of the heart, and how our feelings play a huge role in the quality of our lives and relationships. She believes romantic relationships are one of our greatest teachers, and give us endless opportunities to stay true ourselves and show up in the world as the women we really want to be! View Guest page
Arielle Ford has spent the past 25 years living and promoting consciousness through all forms of media. She is the author of the international bestseller, THE SOULMATE SECRET: Manifest The Love of Your Life With The Law of Attraction. Her latest book, Turn Your Mate Into Your Soulmate offers a groundbreaking shift in perception showing couples how have a deeper, more loving, and more fulfilling relationship.
Arielle has been called “The Cupid of Consciousness” and “The Fairy Godmother of Love.” She lives in La Jolla, CA with her husband/soulmate, Brian Hilliard and their feline friends. Her website is: www.soulmatesecret.com View Guest page
Born and raised in England, Jamie shares his Zen like approach to personal coaching combined with his British sense of humor and refreshing straight talk. He has built a thriving reputation as a licensed psychotherapist, teacher, mentor and leadership trainer helping hundreds of teens, adults, couples, executives and teams change their entire perspectives of work and life. Through his extensive leadership experience, Jamie developed his flagship “Effective Leadership Training” (ELT) and has successfully delivered workshops to corporations, universities, community groups and rehabilitation programs. In 2005, he was cast as a real-life marriage therapist in the FOX show ‘Marriage 911′ and helped to save a marriage on the rocks in just one week. The couple is still thriving, years later. Jamie was most recently featured as a Therapist and Life Coach to Brad Womack on Season 15 of “The Bachelor” on ABC. View Guest page
Mark Manson is a blogger, author and entrepreneur. He specializes in writing personal development advice that doesn't suck. His website MarkManson.net is read by over 2 million people each month. He lives in New York City.
He is the author of the New York Times Bestseller, "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*CK, A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life", and "Models: Attract Women Through Honesty". View Guest page
Amytza Maskati is the epitome of connection across the world of languages, cultures, families, communities, and of course, in love.
Amytza is the only daughter born & bred in culturally diverse Edison, New Jersey to her Puerto Rican Catholic mother & Indian Muslim father & grew up with two younger brothers.
Amytza is a self-proclaimed "traveling sponge" who has developed her career connecting to people as a member of 20 organizations as an actress, singer, dancer, Spanish language/culture educator, and Zumba fitness instructor. She lives "soaking up" languages and cultures studying in 3 countries and working in 10 different cities after visiting a total of 23 countries & 35 U.S. states in less than three decades of her lifetime.
Currently, Amytza is a private in-home and traveling on-set tutor & educational consultant living in Greater Miami/Fort Lauderdale, Florida. Her background in performing arts, journalism/media studies, Spanish translation/interpretation, and public speaking. View Guest page
Dawn Maslar MS. award-winning author, adjunct biology professor, and researcher in the science of love. She is a TEDxBocaRaton 2016 speaker on How Your Brain Falls In Love and TEDxWestBrowardHigh 2016 speaker on Falling in vs. Staying in Love. She was voted one of the Top 20 Most Followed Dating Experts on twitter and Best 28 Dating, Marriage and Relationship Blogs in the UK to follow in 2015. Her work has been featured on South Florida Today, Miami Herald and NPR. Her new book is titled Men Chase, Women Choose: The Neuroscience of Meeting, Dating, Losing Your Mind, and Finding True Love. View Guest page
Suzanna Mathews, author of "Revising Mrs. Robinson", is a self-confessed “Love Junkie” and an expert in first impression management and gender communication, specializing in soulful-spiritual relationships, intergenerational dating, and high net worth relationships.Suzanna believes that “love favors the brave” and is dedicated to helping people amplify their vibration in order to better attract, give, and receive love. She works one-on-one and in small group settings using a blend of marketing & branding strategies and tools for personal growth and self-improvement. Suzanna has been featured on numerous local and regional media outlets and has contributed to a variety of digital and print articles on a wide range of dating topics. View Guest page
Zack Oates is an entrepreneur, hot tubber, author, traveler and husband (but not in that order, necessarily).
Zack started six business which have been featured in Wired Magazine, the New York Times, and the Wall Street Journal. He has rung the NASDAQ bell, won first place at the largest university business competition in the world, and was named one of the top 100 entrepreneurs by VSpring Capital. He lived in Ukraine for two years on a religious and humanitarian mission and started a non-profit working with victims of domestic violence in Ukraine.
He has been to 34 countries and likes the ones best that he went to with his wife.
It took Zack over 1,000 dates to find his wife and published a book to help people enjoy dating more and do it less called, “Dating Never Works…Until it Does.” He also writes a hilariously inspiring weekly article at BowlofOates.com.
Currently he works as a management consultant for Fortune 500 companies, and lives in Dallas with his wife. View Guest page
Intimacy Expert Allana Pratt inspires open hearted courageous living, with delicious sass. Featured on CBS, TLC, FOX and weekly on the Good Men Project, this cum laude graduate of Columbia University is the author of 3 books, with one in the oven. She’s a coach to celebrities and the Host of the sexy empowering show IntimateConversationsLIVE.com. Allana’s passionate devotion to helping men and women reclaim their joy, freedom and personal power dating and in relationships is rooted in her own experience. Now she inspires women to embrace their sacred erotic nature and find strength in their softness to attract all the love and attention they desire. She heals men’s emasculated hearts, cures their ‘nice guy’, and awakens their ‘noble badass’ to create hot, healthy intimate relationships. She pole dances for pleasure, has ridiculous amounts of joy as a mother and inspires reverence for our exquisite sexual nature. View Guest page
A former US Air Force Captain turned Author / Coach / Speaker, Bryan Reeves has triumphed through multiple dark nights of the soul after hurling himself into the transformational fires of intimate relationship over and over again. With a Masters Degree in Human Relations and massive insight gleaned through countless adventures, Bryan now coaches men, women and couples in creating thriving lives and relationships. Bryan has served on the Executive Council for the Global Alliance for Transformational Entertainment (GATE) and worked on projects featuring Rev. Michael Beckwith, Marianne Williamson, Deepak Chopra, The Oracle of Tibet, Don Miguel Ruiz and other worldwide luminaries. He is a regular blog contributor to The Good Men Project, Thought Catalog, Raw Attraction Magazine, Sexy Conscious Awake and more and is the author of “The Sex, Flirting, Dating, Hunting and Hoping Diet” and "Tell The Truth, Let The Peace Fall Where It May". View Guest page
Mark Stefanishyn the founder of Relationship Minimalism - a simple system designed to help men create the most loving (and sexy!) long term relationships ever. By focusing on the most effective, practical, and consistent ways a man can immediately create love, connection, and sexual passion, Mark has created a unique masterclass focusing on the single most important factor in a relationship - how the woman feels.
There's no tantra or spiritual talk, and no communication skills required - just minimalistic tactics and ideas (based on science) to quickly update the skills men need to thrive during the time of the ambitious and independent Superwomen. Mark's writing has been featured on MindBodyGreen, The Good Men Project, and he is the host of the Millennial Man Relationship Podcast. He is a practicing massage therapist, kettlebell enthusiast, and KPC Self Defense Practitioner. View Guest page
Katherine Woodward Thomas
Katherine Woodward Thomas, M.A., MFT is the author of the New York Times Bestseller Conscious Uncoupling: 5 Steps to Living Happily Even After which was nominated for a Books for a Better Life Award, and the national bestseller, Calling in “The One:” 7 Weeks to Attract the Love of Your Life. She is also a licensed marriage and family therapist and teacher to thousands from all corners of the world in her virtual and in-person learning communities.
Katherine is the originator of the Conscious Uncoupling process made famous by Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin as well as creator of the Calling in “The One:” 49 Days to Love online course.
Her life-affirming and highly transformative teachings been featured on The Today Show as well as in The New York Times, Time Magazine, The Wall Street Journal, The Washington Post, The London mes, People Magazine, Women’s Health and many other media outlets throughout the world. View Guest page
Andria Tyner is an ambitious young woman who comes from a delectably multicultural background. Being born to African American, Polish, French, Dutch and Native American ancestry, she comically refers to herself as the "North American Mutt". She was raised in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, and is a hard working college student working towards finding exactly what profession would best suit her skill set. Working towards these goals every day, she hopes to see herself traveling more. Currently she is working towards getting her general education done, and is also writing a non-fiction LGTBQ novel. View Guest page
In the mid 1990’s Nicolette read a book about Feng Shui, and started to incorporate the principles into her life. Many books, classes, and certifications later, in 2003 she began Inspired Living Feng Shui and consults nationally and internationally, in person and over Skype. She is a proud member of the International Feng Shui Guild, and received the Red Ribbon Professional Honor, which has set a gold standard baseline of Feng Shui knowledge in her practice. She has trained with the best leaders in the industry and travelled to China on an Advanced Feng Shui Immersion Course, which became a true spiritual pilgrimage. One of the most fun aspects of her business is her vibrant Feng Shui YouTube Channel. Earlier this year, she passed three million views! While she lives and works and creates in Los Angeles now, she continues to support her clients in Denver where she grew her business. View Guest page
Camille has a unique talent and incredible passion for creating instant, in-person connections and building authentic relationships.
After years of pushing past her introverted nature to meet and attract amazing people into her life, she watched the number of times she was asked out by men climb into the triple digits without ever having gone online. Other women were constantly asking for the secrets behind her dating and relationship successes and Master Offline Dating was born!
Through courses, coaching, and live workshops she now helps singles everywhere create their own real world romances by providing the key tools to naturally attract and date great men.
You can get her FREE resource Best Date Ever: The ultimate guide to turning a chance encounter into an epic first date by visiting: www.masterofflinedating.com/destinationlove View Guest page
Sandy Weiner, founder of Last First Date, is devoted to helping women achieve healthy, toe-curling, off-the-charts love in the second half of life. An internationally known TEDx speaker, dating coach, author, course creator and retreat leader, Sandy specializes in helping women communicate effectively, set clear boundaries in relationships, and value themselves. She believes that a woman of value attracts her best partner.
Sandy has contributed hundreds of articles to several prestigious publications including the Huffington Post, Psychology Today, and The Good Men Project, and is the dating expert at Better After 50. She's also the host of Last First Date Radio, an acclaimed show about attracting and sustaining healthy relationships in midlife. Sandy wants you to go on your LAST FIRST DATE! View Guest page
Teri Lynn Wilkins
Teri Lynn Wilkins has been working as a life coach for nearly 14 years. She has been featured in magazines and newspapers across the country, has appeared on every local news channel and even the popular, HGTV.
After an 8 year journey through Infidelity (as both someone who cheated and was cheated on) Teri Lynn realized that there was very little help and understanding about the topic. Most people who experience betrayal are still hurt and angry, even years later. Unable to heal, move forward and create love in their lives. So, in 2014 she decided to specialize in infidelity, cheating and betrayal. Her own personal journey unveiled insights into why people cheat, how to avoid Infidelity and how to heal if it does happen. View Guest page