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Most of us have been taught that loving others is our job, our duty—that we must love others in order to be considered to be good citizens of the world. But love, real love, is not a function of striving. It is not a function of “should,” or duty or loyalty or any other of those favorite words we use to shame ourselves into compliance with the duty of love. Love is not a duty. Love is an impulse. A deep, abiding and authentic impulse to behave in loving, kind, caring ways to self and others. We all have it, but we have all been taught to ignore that very natural impulse, in favor of obe
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