St. Valentine and Madam Mazurka are battling to be the guest on this show. By legend, Valentine is a third century priest who defied the Romans and married couples, even though the empire wanted young men to stay unmarried so they would be more likely to be better killing machines. St. Valentine says his voice should be heard to counteract all the romantic and commercial nonsense about the day. He also claims priority because the day was named after him. Madam Mazurka is a hilarious dead Transylvanian psychic who knows all about love and who thinks she has more to say than a churchman. She say
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