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When we live with abuse, we waste a lot of time and energy asking: Why does he keep hurting me? How can I help her be happy? How can I get him to stop hurting me? Asking these questions keeps the spotlight on taking care of the abuser. The person who gets ignored is the one being abused. Because it’s all so painful, we ignore our own sadness and pain. We avoid feeling and thus avoid healing. It seems easier than facing the truth of our lives and taking responsibility for our own happiness. We want them to save us or do the things that would make us happy. The fact is, we have to start asking d
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