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When we experience a loss or a defeat, we often feel a great deal of pain. Added to that pain is also a self-judgment, self-recrimination, that has to do with our effort to spiritually by-pass grief altogether. Many are teaching that to have the typical feelings of grief means that we are unwilling to let go, or that we are “ staying stuck” in anger—one of the natural phases of acceptance of any difficult reality. But grief that is allowed its full array of phases and stages has a very natural transformative power. It changes us to the core with lasting and deeply spiritual changes. Today we a
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